Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
