I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
