I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
