used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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