I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
