I heard we made out
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
