My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
