On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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