yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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