so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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