i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
