ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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