Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Drunk is not a location!
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
