So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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