I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
