just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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