too bad you live with your parents still
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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