Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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