We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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