Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
