windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Pooping to opera.
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