The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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