Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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