All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
