I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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