I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
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Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'