Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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