I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
