pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
