she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize