i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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