i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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