Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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