your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
