They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
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He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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