I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
