best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
