haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
