Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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