Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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