We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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