Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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