Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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