I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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