Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Randomize
