the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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