What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
