i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
