guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
