I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
