HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
