I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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