I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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