Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
