Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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