worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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