I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
