His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
